Office Etiquette

This one is from Melissa and it goes as far back as August 1st…wow, I’m sorry I missed this one, enjoy:

SWEARING AT WORK

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language
during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to
complaints received from some employees who may
be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do however, realize the critical importance of
being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and
Innovative phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas
and information can continue in an effective
manner.

1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don’t know what the f___ you’re doing.

2) TRY SAYING:
She’s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She’s a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING:
I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You’ve got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with…
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn’t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It’s not my f____ing problem.

8) TRY SAYING:
That’s interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING:
I’m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won’t work.

10) TRY SAYING:
I’ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the f___ing h _ll didn’t you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING:
He’s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He’s got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren’t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING:
I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I’m on salary.

15) TRY SAYING:
I don’t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the h___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING:
He’s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He’s a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Nice! I should open here e-mail sooner I guess, lol.

Thanks babe!

–Socram

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