From Hummerz

Hummerz sent this in to me a while ago, I’ve just been trying to find time too look at it, I really enjoyed this:

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish……………………………..49
Adventurous……………………Slept with everyone
Athletic………………………….No tits
Average looking……………….Ugly
Beautiful……………………….Pathological liar
Contagious Smile……………..Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure…………..On medication
Feminist………………………..Fat
Free spirit………………………Junkie
Friendship first………………Former slut
Fun……………………………..Annoying
New-Age………………………Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned………………..No BJs
Open-minded………………….Desperate
Outgoing……………………….Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate……………………Sloppy drunk
Professional………………….Bitch
Voluptuous…………………..Very Fat
Large frame………………….Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate………………Stalker

WOMEN’S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you’ll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?

MEN’S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let’s have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
11. I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit = I’m gay

So true…so very true…

–Socram

Cos
About Cos 5057 Articles
Marcos Cosme has had a love for writing and film since he was little. By combing those two passions, he started studying film early on in Middle School and High School writing screenplays and working in his High School television production studio. When it came time for college he decided to pursue a bachelors in Electronic Film making from Fairleigh Dickinson University. Marcos continues to be an avid watcher of movies and scripted television series, although he does, on occasion, watch some reality shows. He has watched hundreds of movies during the course of his life and has worked in various roles on small independent film projects, including writing, producing and directing. In his spare time Marcos loves to write screenplays, read books, contribute articles, blogs and reviews on various topics including (but obviously not limited to) movies, television, books, and wrestling; just to name a few. He is a Rabbit aficionado (he has a dwarf rabbit named Peanut-who is the logo of Cos' Blog) and is a Golden Retriever connoisseur (he has two Goldens named Cassie and Chloe). He also love to spend time with his wife and as of July of 2015 they welcomed their first child, Miles, who can occasionally be seen on the blog.

2 Comments

Leave a Reply