Thank you for calling Peanut Chew’s phone…

Way back at the beginning of June I started a joke about Peanut Chew answering the phone while we were working and it would be sent to an automated message, said by him, about all the possible options you could push buttons for. It would begin like this:

Peanut: “Hello and welcome to Peanut Chew’s phone, please listen to the following options…for Peanut, press one! For Daddy, press two! For Mommy, press three! For Cassie, hang up!”

And it would continue on and get more and more ridiculous, we started e-mail each other and I found this list that is comprised of the two of us bouncing them back and forth to each other. Enjoy!

For college tutoring press 42

For book signings press 43

For information about the moon landings press 44

For parallel parking lessons press 45

For microsoft office 2000 installations press 49

To order Peanut chew sings the blues 4 disc set press 50

For Cassie’s a dumb dog press 51

For ear piercing and tattoos press 52

For photo copies my butt, press 53

For horoscope readings in Spanish, press 54

For medieval poetry sung to a flute, press 55

For painting estimates for your interior or exterior of your house, press 56

For elephant training, press 57

For Chinese Food press 58

For step by step instruction on how to dismantle a particle accelerator, pres 59

For ballet dance lessons press 60

I don’t remember many of them, but I did find a few more:

For Poo pick up, press 70

For tours of Isla Nublar and the dinosaurs, press 71

For illegally downloaded movies, press 72

For Hair cuts, press 73

For bobble heads of me, press 74

For Aerobics lessons , press 75

For weather predictions, press 76

For an autobiography, signed by me, press 77

For train schedules, press 78

For my lasagna recipe press 79

For taxi cab confessions with me driving, press 80

For over due library book due dates, press 81

For rules on how to handle a Gremlin, press 82


About Cos 5082 Articles
Marcos Cosme has had a love for writing and film since he was little. By combing those two passions, he started studying film early on in Middle School and High School writing screenplays and working in his High School television production studio. When it came time for college he decided to pursue a bachelors in Electronic Film making from Fairleigh Dickinson University. Marcos continues to be an avid watcher of movies and scripted television series, although he does, on occasion, watch some reality shows. He has watched hundreds of movies during the course of his life and has worked in various roles on small independent film projects, including writing, producing and directing. In his spare time Marcos loves to write screenplays, read books, contribute articles, blogs and reviews on various topics including (but obviously not limited to) movies, television, books, and wrestling; just to name a few. He is a Rabbit aficionado (he has a dwarf rabbit named Peanut-who is the logo of Cos' Blog) and is a Golden Retriever connoisseur (he has two Goldens named Cassie and Chloe). He also love to spend time with his wife and as of July of 2015 they welcomed their first child, Miles, who can occasionally be seen on the blog.

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