The Obscenely Late and Lengthy 2010 Professional Wrestling Year in Review

https://i2.wp.com/cosblog.cosmelentertainment.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/smarkcentral.jpg?resize=114%2C143

Professional wrestling 2010 Year in Review:

Ok before we begin a few notes:

  1. I will not be discussing TNA storylines specifically because I really did not watch enough of it to make a proper assessment.  However, I will discuss some of the news they made during the year.
  2. I know there will be people who go “but you forgot about this and that”.  Listen.  This thing is long enough as it is.  There was a lot I wanted to talk about and simply didn’t have the space so if your so desperate to address a particular topic, be my guest and tack it on.
  3. Please leave comments.  Yes, I do this type of stuff for fun, but its nice when you put a lot of hard work into something and people tell you if they liked it or not.  Thanks in advance.

2010 was another transitional year for professional wrestling.  However, it was certainly an improvement over the abomination that was 2009 (seriously, don’t get me started again).  It started off fast and furious w/the return of Bret Hart to the WWE and the arrival of Hulk Hogan to TNA (HINT: One of these things panned out relatively well and the other did not.  I think you can guess which is which).  It ends with an explosive youth movement with The Miz leading the way as WWE champion.  Also, do you enjoy political ads disguised as WWE promotional material?  I thought not.  I will be dissecting all of these items as well as all the bullshit in between.  THIS is my 2010 year in review (no applause needed).

January

– Bret Hart returns to the WWE and everybody cares: It took 13 years, but on January 6, 2010, Bret Hart returned to the WWE.  Many changes had occurred in his life and many things that would have killed a lesser man took place, but there he was in all his pink and black glory on RAW.  Bret wasted no time in calling out his long time rival on and off the screen, Shawn Michaels.  The arena stood in anticipation as both of these legends stared each other down.  Both men took their shots, but made their points clear and they agreed that they are equally to blame for what happened.  After a brief exchange, Bret called for Shawn to shake his hand in friendship and after some hesitancy, HBK shook it.  Then as he was about to leave, Shawn turned around and hugged his now former enemy.  It was such a joyous moment and something that all of their fans needed to see.  Their careers are too good to be overshadowed by something as catastrophic as Montreal.

https://i1.wp.com/img560.imageshack.us/img560/6020/hartandmichaels.jpg?w=747

– Hulk Hogan arrives in TNA and no one cares: It was about 10 years too late, but the Hulkster was now running (more like walking gingerly) wild in TNA only nobody but the 250 losers in the Impact Zone cared and even they had their doubts when the likes of Val Venis, the Nasty Boys, Bubba the Love Sponge, Scott Hall, and Sean Waltman came with him.  Hogan and his pals arrived to “save” TNA and of course as we all know by now with Hogan their way of “saving” a company is to stroke their massive egos by booking themselves to go over in every way possible.  The absurdity of this situation doesn’t even lie so much with Hogan & Co. as much as it does with Dixie Carter who actually brought Hogan and Bischoff (those same two guys that killed WCW) on board despite their history.  I mean you basically have to be retarded to make this move.  Not only that, but she gives them total control over everything.  Did she just see the name Hogan and automatically assume it could work because at one point he was the biggest name in wrestling?   The truth is Hogan doesn’t have a clue about what today’s wrestling fan wants and hasn’t for the last ten years.  Bischoff has been riding his one claim to fame (the n.W.o) for 14 years and counting.  NEWSFLASH: He hasn’t come up with an original idea since.  This isn’t going to change what is, but at least we can mark down the exact point at which TNA’s downfall began – January 6, 2010.  Mark it down because by the time 2012 rolls around there may not even be a TNA anymore.

– Awesome Kong does the one thing we have all wanted to do:  Bubba the Love Sponge.  You might know him as an annoying radio personality or the best friend of TNA Vice President of being an out of control egocentric dickhead, Hulk Hogan, but this past year we came to know him as Awesome Kong’s personal punching bag.  I know once Hogan brought this no talent douche on board that someone would eventually beat the shit out of him, but I did not have Kong picked in my office pool.  Kong ended up demolishing The Spongey one for comments he made on his radio show about Haiti (which had just suffered a devastating earthquake).  Sponge was quoted as saying “fuck Haiti” which I believe translates to, “I’m a cornfed southern hick who doesn’t want my tax dollars going to help other countries”.  While the average joe taxpayer can certainly make a compelling argument for Bubba’s case, it was certainly not the way to approach it and Kong made sure to make her point on Bubba’s face (with fists).  Unfortunately, Kong’s “political statement” got her released from TNA.  However, Bubba the love douche was not far behind as he was let go as well.

Feb.

– WWECW Mercifully Ends: Even though the real ECW has been dead since 2001, the WWE has insisted on keeping the brand alive (obviously in name only).  However, after dwindling ratings and complete lack of interest, WWE finally, mercifully decided to pull the plug on ECW’s “rebirth”.  I can’t say I’m surprised, but I can say that I’m relieved.  When this whole thing started in 2006, I never expected to get the old ECW style back, but I didn’t expect the name to get shit on like it did when WWE brought it back.  Yes, there were some good matches and some of the guys who started there may not have had an opportunity to shine if not for ECW, but the fact remains that it was the C show and didn’t have a fraction of the spirit of the original.  To top it off, on the final night of its existence Ezekiel Jackson won the WWECW title from Christian.  What the point of a title change on the final night of a show’s existence was I’ll never know. Maybe they wanted Jackson to have some momentum when he came to RAW, maybe it was one final jab at the ECW faithful.  I don’t know and I don’t care.  All I know is its all over and ECW finally gets to rest in peace…until the summer anyway.

https://i2.wp.com/img403.imageshack.us/img403/6195/nxti.jpg?resize=375%2C273

-NXT Begins: While idiots and marks mourned the loss of WWECW a new show was conceived where eight “rookies” would be called up from FCW and paired with a WWE pro in a reality-ish contest where the winner would become “the next WWE breakout star” and win a PPV title match.  I thought this was a good idea because guys who never had the opportunity to really perform got themselves in front of a million people a week and some of them really shined (Daniel Bryan, Wade Barrett).  Others, not so much (I’m looking at you, Heath Slater).  The problem with this kind of a show is your going to see a lot of screw ups.  Some of these guys really were rookies and thus weren’t as crisp as compared to the pros.  Speaking of the pros, it always seemed as though in the end the pros were made out to look the strongest which is fine if the show was about them, but it’s supposed to be about these rookies trying to win a contract.  Another low point of the show was the weekly challenges that were lamer than the events held at elementary school field days.  The first season which was highlighted by Daniel Bryan attacking Michael Cole and Wade Barrett winning it all was very good while the second and third seasons (which was an all divas season) left a lot to be desired.

March

– TNA Tries Monday Nights (During WrestleMania build-up):  Yes, TNA took the plunge, moving Impact to Monday’s nights to compete head to head with RAW.  Forget the fact that the people who destroyed WCW were running and starring in the show.  Forget the fact that has beens and WWE rejects were headlining the shows, this was the second coming of the ratings wars, right?  WRONG!  It wasn’t the greatest idea in the World to start this Monday night run during the build up to WrestleMania (WWE’s biggest PPV of the year during which WWE has its highest ratings).   Then Spike shoots themselves and TNA in the foot by showing replays of Impact in its former Thursday slot so in other words TNA regulars could watch RAW on Monday’s and still watch Impact on Thursdays like nothing changed.  What a bunch of dummies.  How do you move the show to Monday’s only to show it again at the exact time and day it used to be?  If your going to show a replay at least make it some inconvenient time like Saturday at Midnight so you at least force your base audience to watch it when you want them to. I mean it’s not brain surgery, its Television 101: make the audience come to you.

https://i2.wp.com/img715.imageshack.us/img715/4814/michaelcole19324display.jpg?w=747

– Heel Michael Cole (No, Seriously):  As NXT began, so did the evolution of Michael Cole.  He was no longer the happy go lucky, face pumping faggot we all knew and hated.  Instead he was backing heels like The Miz and endlessly sung their praises by which I mean he figuratively sucked their dicks.  Then again, this is Michael Cole were talking about so it could have been literally too for all we know.  Homosexual innuendos aside, this was a huge leap for a guy who had always sounded like a complete tool, but pretended like he wasn’t.  Now, he’s being a complete tool on purpose and getting a reaction out of it.  Yes, it was a busy year for Cole and his “Cole Miners” (his nickname for his fan base.  Yes, it is the most nauseating name he could have given them). In less than a year he got into a fight with Daniel Bryan, got bitch slapped by JR, cost Jerry Lawler the WWE title, and got RKOed by Orton.  Not to mention repeating everyone’s favorite ear raping monologue whenever cock boy gets an e-mail from the anonymous general manager.

April

– HBK Vs Undertaker the sequel: At WrestleMania XXV, Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker gave us a match for the ages and no match had come close to touching it since.  That is until they did it all over again at WrestleMania XXVI this past year.  This time HBK’s career would be on the line against Taker’s undefeated streak.  The speculation went on for weeks as to who would win this epic encounter.  No one seemed legitimately convinced that HBK’s career was going to end and that the streak would finally be over.  The match lacked the technical brilliance of the first, but the emotion and story were off the charts.  After another epic match, one that deservingly ended the show, the brilliant career of Shawn Michaels was over.

The next night on RAW was emotional  to say the least as millions of fans paid their respects to the man who gave them so much of himself night in and night out.  It was a humble and respectful goodbye to a man so many of us admired for his ability to entertain us like no other.  It would have been nice for him to stick around, but it was time. It was time to walk away and it ended fittingly with the words so many of us remember from our childhood – “Ladies and gentlemen, the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels has left the building”.

https://i0.wp.com/img836.imageshack.us/img836/7531/hbka.jpg?w=747

– Mickie James gets future endeavored: Every year at least one good wrestler gets released.  It’s nothing new in the land of the WWE, but there are releases of a complete waste of time like Slam Master J and then there are releases that make you want scream bloody murder (or bomb WWE headquarters like one gentleman threatened to do).  It wasn’t so much that it happened as to why it happened.  In the months leading up to her release Mickie had allegedly put on a little weight (she still looked great to me).  WWE tried to hint it to her backstage, but that apparently wasn’t working so they turned her supposed weight gain into a storyline involving Laycool where they would come on TV and just talk about how “fat” Mickie was.  Obviously, someone was trying to send a message, but all it did was make WWE look like complete assholes.  Look, I understand the WWE wanting the Divas to look a certain way, but Mickie was not fat.  Did she look soft in the middle?  A little, but it was no excuse to embarrass and humiliate someone who has worked her ass off the last five years and the fire her.  Unbelievable.

– Mr. McMahon is dead…again: Mr. McMahon is dead once again, but thankfully this time it wasn’t some big, overdone, heavily produced stunt that sent him packing.  No, this time he is dead on account of Vince McMahon’s desire to never get back in the ring.  After the blow off (and by blow off I mean cripple pounding a really old guy with a chair for fifteen minutes match ) to his feud with Bret Hart at WrestleMania, Vince McMahon officially declared the Mr. McMahon character dead citing that he is too old to compete against young whippersnappers like Bret Hart.  In all seriousness, I give Vince all the credit in the World.  There’s no other sport in the World where the owner is getting physically involved especially where it’s not necessary.  Bravo Vince.  For a guy whose probably had less than twenty matches you were a WWE champion, the ECW champion and you won the 99 Royal Rumble.  Only three major victories, it’s nice to see you kept your ego in check.

May

– Batista Rage Quits: While I did enjoy his final few months in the company, I can’t say that I miss good old Dave Batista.  To me he was always just a big muscle head who became a star because of his look.  He (like Cena) was clearly manufactured by the WWE machine and did not have one ounce of wrestling ability.  He was just a guy with big muscles which always lead to him being injured again (torn right triceps) and again (re-torn triceps) and again (re-re-torn triceps) and again (hamstring) and again (torn left triceps).  To me he peaked in 2005 during his feud with HHH and after he lost the belt (due to injury of course) he was never able to build that kind of momentum ever again.  He had numerous World title reigns after that, but it never felt like he cared and every title match felt so painfully slow and uncoordinated (probably because it usually was).  Batista is gone and is looking toward starting an MMA career.

https://i2.wp.com/img254.imageshack.us/img254/9859/wwesuperstarbatistaquit.jpg?w=747

June

– Nexus Arrives:  It was a night a stupidity, a night of typical Monday night garbage that we had come to expect these past few years.  Around 10:30 I had seen enough and decided to forgo watching any further.  Around 11:05, I received a text from a friend saying “why did those guys attack Cena”.  I replied with the obvious “who attacked Cena?”  “The NXT rookies”.  Dun dun dunnn.  I didn’t see that one coming.  Apparently at the end of one of the worst RAWs in recent memory, the former NXT rookies, led by winner Wade Barrett attacked John Cena, demolished the ring and everyone and everything around the ring.  I immediately turned the show back on only to witness the tail end of the destruction and a few replays.  Finally, something cool happened on RAW.  Yes, it reeked of a rip-off (See: New World Order), but it was something we hadn’t seen in a long time.  Not to mention the sight of Cena and the entire ring crew being beaten down by eight guys was semi-orgasmic (no, I don’t care how gay that sounds).  It set off what would be the biggest angle/feud of the year and brought Barrett to the center stage.

– Daniel Bryan Goes PG-13, Gets fired: The beginning of the Nexus angle had done its job.  It took a bunch of guys no one ever heard of and made them stars overnight.  Everyone loved the angle.  Everyone except the faggots who told WWE the angle was too violent.  WWE immediately jumped into defense mode, but it was too late.  They knew someone had to take the blame.  That someone was Daniel Bryan (a.k.a internet darling Bryan Danielson) who committed the inhumane (and totally awesome) act of choking an announcer with his own tie.  No, they didn’t fire the creative members who came up with the idea, or the camera man who shot it, or the producers who cut to that camera.  It was of course the fault of the new wrestler who had no idea not to do it and who was just doing what he was told to do.  The internet was ablaze.  Many, (including myself) vowed to never watch RAW again.  This wasn’t just about Bryan, this was PG WWE going too far.  Fired for choking someone with a foreign object?  Is this really what wrestling had come to?  As expected, once the heat died down (from wherever it was coming from) the WWE did the right thing and brought Bryan back at SummerSlam, but it was a cold, hard reminder of the handcuffs that a PG show presents.

https://i0.wp.com/img132.imageshack.us/img132/3527/danielsonpg.jpg?w=747

– Answer: Guest Hosts, Vickie Guerrero, Bret Hart, and A Macbook Pro

Question: Name four people or things that were put in charge of Monday Night RAW in 2010.  No this isn’t jeopardy, this was the actual revolving door of the A brand’s TV figure head job.  We all knew the guest host concept wouldn’t last forever (thank God), but it lasted nearly a year.  A year of horrible sketches, awkward promos, and shilling beyond your wildest nightmares, but it was finally coming to an end and in its place we got…VICKIE GUERRERO?!?!  Granted, Vickie had tons of heat, but we had already seen her as Smackdown GM the year before and no one really wanted an encore on the main stage.  Luckily Vickie only lasted one night (she storyline quit after Orton threatened to punt her in the head).  The next week during Batista’s quitting promo we found out Bret Hart would be the new GM.  Unfortunately, Bret didn’t last long due to several unfortunate circumstances (one being his contract was about to end).  However, their solution to this problem was their most “brilliant” idea ever.  They put a Macbook Pro in charge using Michael Cole as its voice box.  While this idea is not as horrifyingly bad as the guest hosts concept, it has dragged out way too long.  When it started, I figured at some point this anonymous GM would be revealed.  Unfortunately that is still not the case.  I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they had no plan as to whom it really is or if they ever will reveal it.  Until that time we are stuck with Michael Cole and his stupid little shtick until either he or the gimmick “and I quote” drops dead.

July

– Kane FINALLY wins the World title: No longer can anyone say “yea Kane was great, but he only held the WWE title for 24 hours” or “yea Kane was great, but all he did was win the ECW title”.  Now we can finally say Kane has had a legit World heavyweight title reign.  Only we wanted that about six or seven years ago.  Seriously, what the fuck took so long?  Glen Jacobs has been with the WWE for fifteen years (thirteen of which he’s played Kane) and it took till 2010 to get a legit run?  This was a great occurrence, but almost no one cared because they gave up on it years ago.  Kane was huge when he wore his mask and even when he took it off he was a mega heel.  Anywhere between 1998-2004 would have been a better time for it.  Now that they’ve done it and he’s lost it, let’s hope they don’t go nuts and put it on him every three or four months like they did with the Undertaker for the last few years.

https://i0.wp.com/img51.imageshack.us/img51/3174/tnahardjustice.jpg?resize=620%2C339

– TNA Takes a Crack at ECW: Not even six months after ECW was finally laid to rest by WWE, TNA revives it.  It’s amazing how every wrestler, angle, and promotion that has been beaten to death is seen as gold by the mental patients that run TNA.  Some of you ECW-ites may hate this, but let’s look at some facts about the original ECW:

1.  Almost all of the core ECW wrestlers could not wrestle for shit and depended on hardcore wrestling to get over.

2.  In a time of silly gimmicks and superheroes, ECW was a rebellious, in your face promotion which AT THE TIME struck a cord w/the older and disgruntled fan base.

3.  Even though it was very influential, it was more of a territorial promotion because barely anybody outside of the Northeast even knew it existed.

I could go on, but the point is, take all of that “greatness” and fast forward 15 years.  Yea, not so great anymore.  Take The Sandman for instance who could barely move during the ECW heyday (because he was too fat, too drunk, or both) and imagine him now trying to put on a decent match.  Its not nostalgic anymore, it’s painful.  It’s not nostalgic because since 2005 it has not gone away.  Once WWE put these “legends” in the national spotlight every week, you could see how limited their skill set really was.  You put them in a ring and actually ask them to wrestle, its over.  Why?  Because their not legends.  Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, Raven are not legends.  Even Van Dam who can at least string together a good match is still very reliant on high flying, flashy moves and cannot cut a promo to save his life.  Everyone in TNA should have said “no way, this is going to bomb”, but instead they did it and guess what?  IT FUCKING BOMBED.  Most of the ECW “legends” they spent four months building up are gone.  The only saving grace for us is that it didn’t take them as long as WWE to realize it sucked.

August

– Big PPV’s, Bad booking Part I: I’m starting to believe that WWE wants to do away with SummerSlam and Survivor Series because their not technically “themed” PPV’s.  Why do I think this?  Well, frankly the booking for these two shows has sucked the last few years.  SummerSlam was especially terrible except for the main event which only delivered because they brought back Daniel Bryan (to a thunderous applause no less).  The rest of the card was just filler since most of the big names were in the big tag match main event.  Kofi-Dolph had a great match until Nexus came down and ended it, the entire SES jobbed to Big Show, and there was probably some horrendous women’s match I’m forgetting.  One good match on a six match card is not exactly what I call delivering.

https://i1.wp.com/img534.imageshack.us/img534/5664/bryanc.jpg?w=747

September

– Smackdown changes networks for the 1,079,786th time: It seriously seems like every year the B show changes channels and the funny thing is it doesn’t change the ratings.  Why doesn’t it change ratings?  Let’s look at the facts:

1.  Its roster is never as strong as RAWs because it gets pillaged in the draft every year

2.  Its taped on Tuesday and the results are posted right away leaving four days for people to read them.  Even the dumbest little mark knows it.

3.  Its on TV on Friday nights a night where most people (even kids) go out and socialize, not stay in and watch wrestling.

4.  IT NEVER STAYS ON THE SAME FUCKING CHANNEL.

https://i0.wp.com/img153.imageshack.us/img153/4010/syfywwesmackdownblogart.jpg?resize=512%2C296

If this show could stay on the same channel for a year or two maybe it would boost the ratings a little.  Stop changing the network.  It won’t help.  By the way, what genius decided to throw it on Syfy?  You have hundreds of employees between NBC and WWE who have had years upon years in TV and these dummies got together and thought Syfy was a good landing spot?  You can’t build a wrestling audience on a channel where every other show is about aliens, ghosts, or vampires.  It can’t be done I tell ya.

October

– Matt Hardy works hard for his release: It took about two months of bitching on blogs and posting videos on youtube, but the WWE finally granted Matt Hardy his release.   This self-indulgent, fat, narcissistic, delusional asshole should have been shot out of a fucking cannon ages ago.  I know it sounds harsh, but I hate the fucking Hardly Boys.  Fatt Hardy and the Charismatic Enabler are the biggest self-entitled fuck heads I have ever seen.  Once upon a time, I honestly stuck up for this douche wad (yes, it’s a word) when Lita and Edge literally fucked him over, but that was 5 years ago and this is now.  Now, he’s just a fucking whiny loser like his brother and I hope they both enjoy their time with the rest of the washed up losers in TNA.  Fuck you both and go on a diet (preferably not one solely consisting of meth and cheese doodles).

https://i2.wp.com/1.bp.blogspot.com/_UcF1Et2A30c/TLXN8NgAxZI/AAAAAAAABxM/BPw6vi6NFMk/s1600/MattHardy.jpg?w=747

November

– Linda McMahon loses Connecticut Senate bid:  I know like many of you, I have never been so vocal about a political race that had nothing to do with the country or state that I live in, but that’s where we found ourselves this past election day as our own Linda McMahon vied for a seat in the U.S. Senate.  Wrestling fans (the older ones anyway) kept a close eye on the impact Linda’s victory or defeat would have on WWE programming as the emphasis on PG or “family friendly” television seemed to be greater once she decided to run.  Unfortunately for us, she not only ran, but managed to win the Republican nomination thus setting up the political Smackdown (sorry for the cheesy pun) with her opponent Richard Blumenthal.  Almost instantly this lead to all sorts of backlash regarding Linda’s prior occupation as CEO of the WWE.  To her credit, she fought a lot of it off with some clever ads and held her own much of the way.  However, this was not enough to fight off all the pundits, critics, and all around media douchebags so it was Vince to the rescue with a campaign of his own called the “Stand Up for WWE” campaign.  This was a call to arms for the “WWE Universe” to let everybody and anybody in the media know how great WWE is.  In reality, it was all a stunt to help Linda’s campaign and not only did wrestling fans see through it, but the voters in Connecticut did as well as Linda lost a close election.  To no one’s surprise, not even a week after Linda lost every reference to the Stand Up campaign had been removed from WWE.com.  So that’s the end of PG WWE right?  It’s just a matter of time before we see blood and chair shots to the head right?  WRONG.  Despite being dubbed an outcast and spending her entire fortune, Linda says she is determined to hold political office and will probably give it another shot.  Boo!

– Were talking Old School: RAW went “old school” this year like they do every year, but this time it really went all out.  I’m talking about theme song, set, outfits, announcers, even special merchandise that was released in conjunction with the show.  As much as I always complain about WWE not looking forward and making new stars, I still get a lot of enjoyment out of seeing my old favorites.  The whole night was filled with endless nostalgia and ended with a great, meaningful promo from the one and only Rowdy Roddy Piper in the most memorable Piper’s Pit in years.  It’s nice to see WWE put effort into it for a change because these legends and their fans deserve it.

– Big PPV’s, Bad booking Part II: Survivor Series was a little better than SummerSlam, but the two World title matches were horrendous and predictable.  Edge and Kane was barely watchable and of course ended in the dreaded double count out which is always so welcomed on a huge PPV that you shell out forty five bucks for.  The Orton-Barrett match just was way too short and predictable.  Given all the different scenarios that could have come with the Cena being freed or fired stipulation, it was a giant letdown to have a clean ending with nothing the least bit interesting taking place.  Not to mention once again they decided to only run one of the traditional elimination matches which wasn’t even announced until ten days before.

https://i1.wp.com/img411.imageshack.us/img411/8425/60086650.jpg?resize=445%2C288

– John Cena gets “fired”.  Well…not really: Sigh.  As discussed above the Nexus invasion angle was one of the biggest stories of the year, but like with most major storylines, John Cena was involved.  This of course always leads to trouble and by trouble I mean Cena being booked to be the strongest and most important thing to ever exist.  His feud with Wade Barrett was no exception.  At Bragging Rights Cena lost to Barrett which thanks to pre-match stipulations meant that Cena was now a member of Nexus.  Now of course with Cena being Cena the next night he attacked the group only to be told by the GM that if he didn’t follow Wade’s orders he would be fired.  This lead to such “agonizing” tasks as getting Wade Barrett some water and wearing the Nexus “N” armband.  This would lead us to Survivor Series where Cena would be the referee in the WWE title match between Orton and Barrett.  If Barrett won, Cena would be free from Nexus, but if Orton won, Cena would be fired.  Of course, Cena did the “noble” thing and was fired after he counted 3 for Orton.  Now you would think that maybe WWE would actually keep him off TV for a few weeks to sell the fact that he’s really gone.  WRONG!  WWE Marketing guy: “GAMBLE OUR CENA MERCH SALES? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” No, I’m just a fan of actual wrestling and using booking that makes sense.  Sorry for being so selfish…  Now I knew Cena would have to come on and say his goodbyes and whatnot.  For what its worth it was probably Cena’s best promo ever, but it was all blown to shit when Cena came back during the main event to cost Barrett the WWE title.  From then on it was nothing but Cena run-ins and attacks which is normally fine, but according to the storyline, HE WAS FIRED.  Yea he can buy tickets and it’s not unusual to see past superstars roaming around backstage, but typically when you jump the barricade or start a fight backstage the least that happens is you get thrown out of the fucking building if not arrested.  WWE came up with the extremely lame excuse of “well the Nexus has attacked security before so their not going to protect them from Cena”.  LAME ok?  Fucking lame WWE, even for you.  To top off this wonderful waste of a great angle, three weeks after Cena was “fired”, he was hired back so he could finish the job on Barrett and Nexus’ credibility by destroying Wade in a chairs match at TLC.  “OH MY GOD.  IT’S A MIRACLE, JOHN CENA’S BACK.  HE OVERCAME THE ODDS AGAIN”.   Yes, it seems nothing can stop the man known as John Cena, not even unemployment.

– Miz Came to Play: After winning the RAW Money in the Bank match at the Money in the Bank PPV, the Miz began to preach that fact that it was “just a matter of time” before he became WWE champion.  This smattering of over the top bragging led many to believe Miz would be the first superstar to lose his MITB cash in match.  I’m happy to report those people were wrong!  On November 22nd, the night after Survivor Series Randy Orton successfully defended the WWE title against Wade Barrett despite being jumped by Nexus before the match.  He defeated Barrett, but unfortunately for Randy, his night was not over as the word AWWWWSOME rang out over the loudspeakers.  Orton was more up to the task than the previous MITB victims, but it made no difference.  In three minutes we had a NEW WWE champion, but not just any champion.  A guy who came from reality television, who nobody liked, who everyone said would never make it, a guy who had to be “carried” by John Morrison.  All of the doubters had to shut their mouths and give credit where credit was due.  The Miz had arrived.  He left everyone else in the dust and figures to be one of the centerpieces of RAW for years to come.

December

– MVP Released: Wow WWE, you want to talk about dropping the ball on a potential superstar this was it.  In 2006 the WWE called up Ken Kennedy and MVP to the main roster, both were looked at as future main eventers and faces of the company.  Only four years have passed since then and both have left the company (one voluntarily).  What happened?  Well, Kennedy used his sloppy in ring skills and big mouth to get himself kicked out of titan town, but what happened to MVP?  This guy seemed to have all the intangibles it took to make it and yet he spent the majority of his career in mid-card obscurity.  After exploding onto the scene, the T.O. of the WWE quickly claimed the U.S. title from the man that shall not be named and started a brilliant feud/partnership with Matt Hardy.  Hardy would win the feud and the U.S. title, but that was only so MVP could move up to the main event, right?  Nope, instead the lame wads in creative gave him a losing streak storyline and turned him face.  An arrogant athlete character whose entire identity was built around his cockiness was turned face.  Of course, the new MVP did not click as well as the old one.  He had another U.S. title reign, but it had nowhere near the impact of his first and after that WWE did nothing with him except team him up with Mark Henry a.k.a. the black vacuum of suck.  Finally, after months in purgatory MVP had enough.  He took his Power Ranger suit and blow up tunnel and went home.

https://i2.wp.com/img593.imageshack.us/img593/1016/mvpf.jpg?w=747

Dusty’s take on 2010:  Two tousan an Ten baby.  What a great yea it wus in oar great sport dadday.  We started out wit Legacy and the Straight Edgy Society and ended wit Nexus and The Cowa.  I like that Cowa baby.  Especially that little Justun Gabriel.  He does that flippy whippy 450 splash on the belly welly.  It’s not as good as the froggy splash on the belly welly, but it does da job yes it does.  We also saw da return of one a da greatest legunds eva, Bret da Hitmaan.  Da Hitman came an hit Mr.MacMahon about two hunded times wit a chair.  I guess da Hitman likes dos chairs doesn’t he?  I personally would have used my segway on im.  Then again dat wood make it hader for ol’ Dustay to get around.  What ells happen?  My ol’ nemizis  Ted Dibiase got inducted into da Hall of Fame.  Dustay once sol a fat black gurl name Saffia to dat guy.  At lease dats the way I remember it.  It’s amazing what ol’ Dustay will do for a week ol grill cheese sandich and a foot massage.  Speakin a food as Dustay often does, was dat Edgey I saw on Smackdown feedin Powl Beaer some buffalo weengs?  Those weengs looked so so good babey.  I’m going to have to ass him where he got dose.  I wus sad to see ma favorite wrassla leave da cumpnay.  Montelly Tubby Voluptuous Porterhouse, I will miss you babey.  You inspiad Dustay wit your courageous story of redemptcion and your crazy wazy outfits.  You eva gonna sen me one of dose in my size?  I tink dats a good way to en dis right hea.  Enjoy da thought of Dustay wearin a tight red jumpsuit wit short shorts.  An you thaught my keeds were weird.

https://i2.wp.com/img132.imageshack.us/img132/1087/dustrhodes.jpg?w=747

Leave a Reply