Smark Central’s WrestleMania Predictions

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WrestleMania Predictions

Muhahahaha

Pre-Show

 

I.C. Match

Wade Barrett(c) Vs The Miz

 

What I want to see: The I.C. belt to get some respect.  I feel like I go on a rant about it every other month, but THIS is supposed to a very important title and it’s not booked as one.  It’s been relegated to the pre-show on the biggest night of the year.  Regardless of what someone may think of Barrett and/or Miz, it still deserves to be on the main stage.

What we will see: Barrett had the title two years ago winning and losing it in forgettable fashion.  Miz held the title last year as a heel and lost it in forgettable fashion.  Now Miz is a face so my guess is he’ll get another crack at it since a new hair-do, a talk show, a face turn, and being given the figure four by Ric Flair still haven’t gotten him over.

You know what P.Diddy and the I.C. title have in common?  Neither has been relevant since 2002.
You know what P.Diddy and the I.C. title have in common? Neither has been relevant since 2002.

8 Person Mixed Tag Team Match

Tons of Funk & The Funkadactyls Vs Team Rhodes Scholars & The Bella Twins

 

What I want to see: THIS as the pre-show match and the IC title bumped up to the main card.  Seriously, does anyone want to see this match at all?  Let alone as part of the biggest show of the year?

What we will see: Fat guys dancing, some unnecessary booty shaking, two models attempting to look like wrestlers, and a great wrestler saddled with a mustache for a gimmick.

 

Chris Jericho Vs Faaaan-daaaaan-go (Did you let the A’s breathe?)

 

What I want to see: As silly as Fandango’s (formerly Johnnie Curtis) gimmick may be, it has certainly caught on with a good amount of the fan base.  It would be nice to see him display a lot of his ability in the ring because some people seem to think he can’t wrestle.  It would be a nice middle finger to his critics if he shows up and steals the show.

What we will see: More dancing, but not the kind that involves little kids or bootees.  Oh, and I’m sure it’ll be a high quality outing with Jericho doing what veteran stars should be doing – laying down for current talent and keeping an overall low profile.

Keep Calm

Ryback Vs Mark Henry

 

WWE Universe Poll: When this match is on, I will be where?

 

  • At the concession stand
  • Buying overpriced beer
  • Buying overpriced merch that I can find elsewhere for half the price
  • In the bathroom taking a giant Mark Henry

 

VOTE NOW!

 

Tag Team Title Match

Team Hell No (c) Vs Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston w/AJ Lee

 

What I want to see: Considering Hell No’s partnership had grown as stale as Bryan’s beard is long it’s going to be no surprise who I’m pulling for here.  Not that I enjoy seeing Dolph stuck in the pathetic tag division, but at least it might be a positive sign for his future World title reign.  The other option is he loses this match and goes on to a potential cash in match cold.  Also, would it be asking too much to have them win clean instead of relying on AJ interference?  Having the best pure wrestler and the guy with the biggest build needing a 105 lb woman’s help in order to win is logically broken.

What we will see: Not that this is going to be news to most people who will read this, but the WWE creative team and more specifically Vince McMahon tend to take something that originally starts out as a good thing and beats it into the ground until it becomes a bad thing.  Call me a fickle fan, but Team Hell No’s constant arguing, the No’s, the Yes’, has worn out its welcome.  It was funny for a few months, but is now it’s just annoying.  Having said that I think Hell No retains either by a clean pin or via DQ.

Sadly, this makes Dolph the Stevie Ray of this team or maybe even the Sherrie  depending upon which WWE higher up you ask
Sadly, this makes Dolph the Stevie Ray of this team or maybe even the Sherrie
depending upon which WWE higher up you ask

6 Man Tag Match

Randy Orton, Big Show, Sheamus Vs The Shield (Amrbose, Rollins, Reigns)

 

What I want to see: The Shield has not lost yet and they should not lose to this trio of do gooders.  An Orton heel turn here would also be nice.  He has been so stagnant as a face and can’t seem to get anywhere near the World title.  It probably couldn’t hurt Sheamus’ stock as a face either because he’d have a really dark character to work against.

What we will see: Well the boring choice would be to have the Shield finally get their comeuppance at the hands of a dysfunctional group of faces who were able to put their differences aside…ZZZZZZZZZ

Sleep tight Randy.
Sleep tight Randy.

No Holds Barred Match – If HHH loses, he must retire

Brrrrrock Lllllesnar w/Paul Heyman Vs HHH w/HBK

What I want to see: HHH while attempting to build the future of the WWE still can’t resist booking himself on the biggest show of the year just to get a win back because his massive ego can’t stand the thought of losing even in a scripted sport.  Lesnar ending

HHH’s career probably wouldn’t be appropriate, but it would still be a welcomed end and one that’s probably overdue.

What we will see: Do you not remember what I said four lines ago about HHH’s ego?

HHH the brilliant strategist always has a plan
HHH the brilliant strategist always has a plan

World Heavyweight Title Match

Alberto Del Rio (c) w/Ricardo Rodriguez Vs Jack Swagger w/Zeb Colter

 

What I want to see: I’ve been waiting for a long time for this.  No, not the match.  The opportunity to tear the shit out of this whole angle.  Let’s review shall we?  In October Swagger is taken off TV to be repackaged after several months of jobbing.  He pops up at a few house shows, but he’s basically a ghost for five months.  All of a sudden he shows up after the Rumble and is almost IMMEDIATELY inserted into the WHC #1 contender Elimination Chamber.  Then they bring in Dirty Dutch Mantel as his bigot manager because Swagger still has no mic skills.  To add insult to injury, the guy who was nowhere to be found for five months WINS the fucking Chamber match to become number one contender for the WHC.  Two days later, Swagger (probably still celebrating his victory) gets busted for DUI and marijuana possession.  Push over right?  WRONG! Vince is so high on the angle of the homegrown American Vs the Mexican border jumper, he lets Swagger slide without punishment.  So then we get six weeks of same shitty We(ed) the People Vs Immigration is cool/land of opportunity promos.  Meanwhile the guy Swagger was tagging with last year (Ziggler) who oh by the way happens to have a golden ticket to the World title is wrestling for the damn tag belts.  I cannot express how bad I want Ziggler to cash in and save the belt from this shitty feud.

What we will see: Swagger’s DUI HAS to come back to bite him at some point so my guess is he won’t be getting the title.  However, I wouldn’t be surprised if they still give it to him.

In Jack Swagger’s America DUI’s = World title push
In Jack Swagger’s America DUI’s = World title push

The Streak Match

CM Punk Vs The Undertaker

 

What I want to see: I’m still torn.  Just as I was in the weeks before this match was made official.  On one hand you have Punk who would become a certifiable legend by winning and yet even though Taker should have retired years ago, you get the sense that WrestleMania won’t be the same without him when he finally does hang em up.  I guess all I really want to see is Punk prove once again that he’s the best thing they have going.  Win or lose, if he can carry a forty seven year old, broken down old man to a twenty minute, four star match, it just re-affirms who the better man is and how it’s an insult he’s not headlining with or instead of Cena and The Rock

What we will see: I have no doubt the streak continues.  They will do a great job of creating doubt, but ultimately Taker pulls it out for the twenty first time.

434 Days!
434 Days!

WWE Title Match

The Rock (c) Vs John Cena

 

What I want to see: Anything that would make this match more interesting.  As of now it’s the same exact main event as last year with the exception of the title being on the line.  I expect the outcome to be different as well, but that won’t be good enough for me.  Cena needs to turn heel.  It makes too much sense.  I know it won’t make much difference in the long run, but this match is begging for it.  You can’t tell me the Vince/Austin situation at WM 17 didn’t pop up in your head when out of the blue John Laurinatis showed up on Smackdown.  Everything is perfectly setup for this to happen and yet ultimately I don’t think it will.

What we will see: Cena wins this time.  It will just be a matter of how that victory comes that either bring us back to the horrid years of 2005-2011 or it’s the start of something new and fresh.

Pray for us all.
Pray for us all.

 

 

 

 

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