If you’ve ever wondered if you should watch Raw!
Here is Raw in a nutshell.
You’ve been warned!
From Smark Central:
Guest opener: Betty White comes out with Big Show to a nice pop. Not interested.
Actual Opener: Same opener we’ve seen a dozen times over since SummerSlam with The Authority and Orton kissing each other’s ass and Bryan interrupting to insult them. HHH gives Bryan the night off to make this RAW a total bomb before it even gets off the ground.
6 man tag match Wyatts Vs Rhodes Bros & Rey: Pretty standard six man except for the end when Rey gets drilled after running into the Sister Abigail from Bray. Youtube it. Freaking amazing execution by both guys.
Fandango Vs Santino: Emma’s career doesn’t look too promising getting paired with Marella whose shtick has grown way old by this point. Miz made another brief commentary rant about not being used. I guess another Miz push is on the way…yay.
Sheamus & Christian Vs The Real Americans: Big pop for Cesaro who has done more for the “we the people” catchphrase in four months than Swagger has in a year. Fantastic match by the way. Only match really worth checking out. Sheamus & Christian win, but it doesn’t matter. Great performance by all involved.
Squash match: Ziggler Vs Del Rio. Just a reminder, this was a World title feud (a very good one by the way) just nine months ago. Now Ziggler gets pinned in two minutes. Del Rio doesn’t let up after and Batista comes down for the save and destroys ADR again. He actually puts him through the announce table which is kind of extreme seeing as how a week ago he “didn’t have a problem with Del Rio”. Now he’s power bombing him through the announce table.
Outlaws with Betty White: The outlaws try to slip Betty White the old eye drop surprise, but the old gal is too quick for them and switch…I can’t even fake interest in this. PLEASE STOP WITH GUEST STARS WWE, PLEASE!
Usos Vs Rybaxel: Didn’t watch the match, but apparently the Uso’s challenged the Outlaws. Outlaws are on commentary, but have to run because Billy is going to shit his pants because someone in creative has the sense of humor of a thirteen year old.
U.S. Title match: Dean Ambrose Vs Mark Henry – Ambrose laid out an open challenge. WWE cleverly teased that Reigns might take it, but it turned out to be Henry. Predictable DQ finish w/Rollins making the save. However, the aftermath made this one. The Shield are exiting the arena when the Wyatts music hits. They come down, the Shield comes back over the barricade and we are treated to a classic western stand off where both sides keep coming closer together until…the Wyatts bail. What a great tease. Mark my words – this will be the match of the night at Elimination chamber. It just feels like it has classic match written all over it. It will almost be worth the price of admission alone. That’s how much faith I have in these six guys.
6 Diva Tag: AJ, Alicia Fox, Oksana Vs Bellas & Cameron – Even AJ can’t save these abominations. Bella’s botch. Nothing new there. Total divas win. Nothing new there. Oh wow AJ didn’t take the pin. Thats a nice switch.
Kane comes out to apologize again, but Bryan interrupts and gets the better of the exchange. Big YES chant after as always. HHH and Vince backstage: “Whatevs. Batista and The Rock are in movies, bigger is better, WWE network, download the app”.
Main Event: John Cena Vs Randy Orton – Wouldn’t it be great if someone could figure out exactly how many times these two have fought? I mean between OVW, RAW, Smackdown, house shows and PPVs it has to be in the hundreds. That is way too many for any two wrestlers. Let alone perennial main eventers who everyone is sick of seeing.
Didn’t even bother with this crap. Oh you want the result?
By the way, still no mention of Punk on air. I can’t see them just letting his deal run out before they say anything. Maybe they’re waiting till Vince’s blood pressure goes down. If that’s the case, they’ll be waiting for quite awhile.