Texting

By: Jewels

Texting was an invention that was designed for people to be able to communicate via phone through typing a quick, fast, and short answer with hope of an immediate response.

Ex- "I’m going to the grocery store after work. Do we need milk?"

"Yes."

"Ok thank you. I’ll pick it up."

Now- is that quicker than making a 20 second phone call? Well it could be. Depending on whom you're talking to. I know for me if I called my mother rather than sending her a text it would turn into an entire 20 minute conversation of… 

"Why do you need milk?

You're think we’re of milk?

You should have planned ahead.

Why are we so low?

Whose been drinking it all?!

Why do you need so much?

What are you baking a cake?

Whose birthday is it?

Come home. I have a coupon.

Oh, since you're going to the store anyway, can you get me bread and eggs too.

WAIT! Let me just confirm we need it. Hold on the phone. Don’t hang up! Ok?

Actually, call back in 10 minutes and I'll tell u a list. 

OH! I wish you told me earlier you were going to the store. Now I feel rushed hunting through what we may need.”

  "MOM! I just called to ask if we need milk. I'm just going for me. That's it." 

 "FINE! Don't do your mother any favors. I do your laundry and cook for you. That's the thanks I get? FINE."

Like I said, back to my original point, texting was invented for people to respond quickly and expect short and straight to the point answers. Again, SHORT and to the point!

“Do we need milk? Yes or No?”

“Yes”

When did this whole “Thanks!” “No problem” “J” Come from? I mean when you do it that way, those messages could go on for hours and sometimes they do! Which is why some phones have a max of 160 letters max per text and of course texting had to be invented by a man because men love to avoid confrontation and awkward questions in person or over the phone. Same reason I feel emailing was inventing by a man. Men are shy and hate to have face-to-face contact.

  Now a days people text to get answer to cheat on school tests,

"What's the answer to number 2?"

*vibrate* *Checks phone*

"B!"

“Thanks!”

People also text in meetings to their coworker next to them to pass time.

"The guest speaker has broccoli in his teeth! And can u get over what he's wearing! He needs to turn the volume down on that shirt!"

"Omg! I know right! LOL!"

 

People also send chain texts aka a-lazy-and-faster-easier-way-to-spread-the-word "Hey everyone I'm pregnant! More details to come! Just wanted to tell you!"

Which I find remotely stupid because everyone ends up excited and eagerly calls you. 

Hey genius. You didn't do yourself a favor you now have to do more work for yourself 

because you're phone is blowing up with phone calls.

Ever hear of a "text-date?" Yeah...it's a pre-date before the actual date where two people sit alone at home and text back and forth till they're fingers are numb or until the other person gets bored and runs out of thing to say.

I went on one of those dates before. It was interesting. Free. I didn't worry about 

my looks. And I watched Spiderman 1 on tv while it was happening.

Ever want to cancel a plan with someone but don't want to call them because you feel bad and you certainly don’t want to do it face to face because you want to avoid them? YUP! That's where texting comes in handy. You know as soon as you send them a “cancel date text” they’re only going to call you back.

"Hey listen you're great but this isn't going to work. I have a headache and I'm going to have to end this"

*phone rings*

*IGNORE*

"Laying down. Throat hurts. Plus battery low. Can only text."

*Phone rings*

*ignore*

 

And don’t bother them that person a day or so later.

“Hey did you try and call me? Yeah I was away from my phone. I didn’t hear it ring. Sorry.” 

Or how about the classic,

“I didn’t get your text message. That’s so weird! My phone’s been acting up. I need a new one anyway. Sorry.”

Don’t even bother telling us the phony cell phone excuses stories. Trust me. We’ve all heard them all and use them. They’re lame. We can always tell you’re lying. Just don’t do it.

Remember when picture text messaging debuted? I still remember the commercial for that. It was taken place at a clothing store. A girl took a picture of a dress. Sent it to her friend’s phone and said, "Hey you like this dress for picture day?" "Love it!"

Now, with that point everyone had a light bulb go off and say, 

"Hey! That sounds convenient. Every time I send my boyfriend to a drug store and he doesn't know if he picked up the right tampons to purchase for me he can take a picture of it to confirm it’s the right ones! Great! I'm going to buy this new phone, subscribe this plan and pay $20 extra per month so my bf can confirm he's purchasing the correct products for me.” 

 

Then video texting arrived. A quick 10-20sec max horrible quality video. Now you can take a video of your friend sleeping and snoring in class and send it to your friend aka the student next to him to get a laugh.

It's amazing how far we've come with communication. Some people love to text and prefer it then face to face others hate texing and think it's the most pointless time consuming thing ever (for all those slow texters out there) 

And others are obsessed with it and find it "rude" if you actually don't respond immediately back. Like I’m sorry my phone is not glued to my body. I hadn’t realized I grew a new body part on me.

"You didn't hear your phone? That's bs! You're avoiding me on purpose."

I’ll admit I hate "happy bday" text messages or "congrats" txt messages.

You know what that's called? 

“Hey! Give me credit I remembered and showing effort in remembering your special day but I’m too much of a bad and lazy friend to actually call and tell you. My life is so busy 

I can only text u a 10 letter msg. Like give me a break."

Texting has started more fights in friends why? Because people never know the actual 

"tone of voice" one is writing.

"Hey you coming over?"

"I said yes earlier."

"Well excuusssse me. I just wanted to make sure"

"Why r u yelling at me."

"I'm not."

"Whatever bye."

And all those abbreviations in text messaging! LYLAS, LOL, JK, BRB. Who invented all those? I can’t keep up! 

Ever have someone ask you,

“Hey did you get my text?”

Now how are you supposed to answer that? If you say, “Yes” then they’ll wonder why you didn’t write back. If you say, “No” then they’ll wonder why. 

 

I feel like text messaging has replaced the whole voice-mail thing. Now of course there are those people that still love to leave voice messages and have an entire conversation with them self. Then there are those new and with-it people who know the new rule. If the phone goes into voice mail and it’s your friend not a boss just leave a text message of what you wanted rather than a voice mail. It’s quicker and they’ll respond faster. 

Don’t you hate it when you’re on the couch watching tv. You deliberately hit ignore on the cell phone. Then that person DOESN’T leave any voice message OR text? That drives me crazy. And you can’t text back, “What? Laying down didn’t feel like talking.” Because you don’t wanna be rude YET there ARE people who do that.

New rule:

Call.

Phone goes into voice mail.

Leave a text not a voice mail.

Society will get the message faster and half of the people don’t even remember their password or check their voice mail. Let’s face it who wants to hear that annoying “Please enter your password. Press 7 to erase. Press 9 to save or press 0 to hang up.” Who wants to hear that every time you need to play a message?

Texting. A good invention or a fight starter?