A woman’s purse
A purse, a mystery-goodie bag, a hand bag, a pocket book, a clutch, whichever name you call it they all serve the same purpose, a portable storage compartment for women to throw miscellaneous items in. Have you ever wondered what girls keep in their purse? Well I’ll tell you! The other day I had a friend hold my purse while I tied my shoes.
“Christ! What do you have in this bag?! Rocks? You need to sort through this thing. I bet half of the things in here you don’t even need!”
Need? Well…that’s a matter of opinion. Of course I don’t NEED everything but he was right. I haven’t sorted through my purse in months. Therefore when I got home the first thing I did was weigh the bag! SEVEN POUNDS! I carry an average of seven additional pounds on me when I go out. When I stepped off the scale and exited the bathroom I turned the bag upside down and “dumped” the bag all over the living room lava red rug.
Wanna know which item weighed the most in the purse?
THE WALLET!
My slightly torn and fake black Kenneth cole wallet which was busting at the seam and has a tear at the zipper, I then opened it up.
Credit cards, a gift card for starbucks with 14cents on it, crumpled receipts from wawa, ID’s including my high school ID with a photograph of my dyed black hair from eight years ago, expired club cards for stores that don’t even exist anymore such as blockbuster, I only needed two more whole punches and I would have gotten a free rental! There was $4 dollars in change and the majority of it was all pennies! Photographs of friends I don’t even talk to, a stack of personal business cards, folded movies tickets from The Dark Knight Rises and The Artist.
After sitting cris-cross-apple sauce on the rug and starring at mess I made I didn’t know where to begin. I think this is why my bag weighs seven pounds because no one wants to throw away anything.
Aside from the wallet there was two cover girl lipsticks that I’ve been meaning to return because of the too-dark color, three chapsticks, a purell hand sanitizer bottle, one tide-to-go-stain remover pen, two packs of Orbit gum, wrappers from the gum, altoid mints, pens, papers, and unexisting stamps that I can’t even use because they aren’t 44cents!
Yes the list continues and now the most important things…
A broken hairbrush, a comb filled with hair and bent brussels, mirror, tissues, my cell phone and charger, and my scratched up but amazing working canon digital camera.
After a 30 minute workout of sorting and trying to eliminate I decided to gather everything back in the bag and decided, “I’m going to organize it another day.” After all, that’s what a purse is for it’s a portable storage compartment for women to throw miscellaneous items in only to add extra weight to our backs. So that’s inside my purse and anytime a girl complains that their back hurts due to the weight of their large boobs, take a wild guess that it might be caused from the purse!
