Really Dumb Things To Think About……

and you WILL think……

§ Can you cry under water?

§ How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

§ If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

§ Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

§ Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?

§ Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

§ Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

§ What disease did cured ham actually have?

§ How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

§ Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

§ If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

§ If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

§ Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

§ Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

§ How come we c hoose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

§ Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

§ If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

§ Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

§ Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

§ Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!” and was it trial and error with other animals…….and their body parts?

§ Why do toasters always even have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

§ Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

§ If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

§ Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

§ If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

§ Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

§ Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

§ What do you call male ballerinas?

§ Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

§ If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

§ If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

§ Think Disney World is a huge trap operated by a MOUSE? It sort of IS!

§ Do the Alphabet song and Twink le, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

§ Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

§ Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

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