and you WILL think……
§ Can you cry under water?
§ How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
§ If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
§ Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
§ Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?
§ Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
§ Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
§ What disease did cured ham actually have?
§ How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
§ Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
§ If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
§ If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
§ Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
§ Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
§ How come we c hoose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
§ Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
§ If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
§ Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
§ Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
§ Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!” and was it trial and error with other animals…….and their body parts?
§ Why do toasters always even have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
§ Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
§ If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
§ Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
§ If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
§ Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
§ Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
§ What do you call male ballerinas?
§ Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
§ If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
§ If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
§ Think Disney World is a huge trap operated by a MOUSE? It sort of IS!
§ Do the Alphabet song and Twink le, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
§ Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
§ Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?