Craig’s Comontary (not so) Bold NFL Predictions

COMOntary

Craig's Comontary (not so) Bold NFL Predictions 

 

It feels like a long time ago people were talking about actual football.  The sport of football has taken a back seat to the tabloid like headlines surrounding it.  Maybe it is the result of the TMZ/instant reaction/twitter World that we live in.  Maybe we pay too much attention to the few awful people who play football and not enough to those who are genuinely good guys.  Maybe the NFL should concern themselves with more important issues than deflated footballs.  No matter where you are on those matters, its time to get back to talking about the sport we love so much.  Let’s just play some freaking football already! 

 

AFC

 

AFC East: The New England Patriots (14-2)

There are two sides you can take here.  There's the Jimmy Garappolo stinks and the Patriots are going to be in too big of a hole that even the great Tom Brady can't pull them out of side.  Then there's the Tom Brady is going to f*ck everyone up and win another Lombardi trophy just so he can shove it up Goodell's ass in front of 100 million people side.  I'm not into violently shoving phallic objects up your bosses rectum, but if there's one thing I've learned as a football fan it's almost always bet on Brady.  TB12 takes the division, but not the Lombardi.  

 

AFC North: The Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5)

There really is no other choice here.  The other teams just don't stack up.  Pittsburgh might have it rough out of the gate without top Running Back Le'veon Bell, but they've gotten by fine without him before (see DeAngelo Williams crushing fools last year).  Also, having the best receiver in the game probably helps some too. Despite having the goofiest haircut since the fo-hawk (for you young-ins) or the high top fade (for the older folks) Antonio Brown is the top dog when it comes to catching the football. Now if we could just get him to stop shaping his head into a Tetris piece we'll be all right. 

 

Note: Not the 1st time someone playing football was called a "block head"

AFC South:  Houston Texans (11-5)

A lot of people are picking the Colts to bounce back, but take a closer look.  They addressed some of their needs on the offensive line, but it's not going to come together right away.  Plus their defense is still going to be in the bottom half of the league.  The Texans meanwhile have stabilized the Quarterback position (to the tune of $72 million), they have J.J. Watt back healthy and a top five receiver in DeAndre Hopkins.  Also, despite what critics are saying about Brock (BRRRRROOOOOOOCK) Osweiler the guy did a very serviceable job last year in Denver.  Let's also not forget the Texans have gone 9-7 the past two season with EIGHT count em EIGHT different Quarterbacks.  That's almost impossible. 

 

Don't mess w/the conqueror

 

AFC West: Oakland Raiders (10-6)

Yep. In a division with the defending Super Bowl champions and another playoff contender in the Kansas City Chiefs I'm going to pick a team that has been at or below the .500 mark for what feels like a good decade or so.  It feels like this is maybe a year too early, but what if I'm right?  What if this young Oakland Raiders team led by Derrick Carr, Amari Cooper and Khalil Mack actually pull off the upset?  Well, I'll look like a genius, but thats not important to anyone but me.  What will happen is one of the most passionate fan bases will get to watch as their team shocks the World and makes the playoffs a lot more fun.  Just imagine the creatures from the Black hole invading Foxboro or Mile High in January again.  You know you want to see it.  I want to see it and the World wants to see it. Go Raiders!

 

Wild Cards

 

 

Denver Broncos (10-6) – Quarterback, shmorterback.  Did you watch the Super Bowl? Did you watch that defense eat the Panthers alive?  Well, most of those guys are still there.  Most importantly, Von Miller is locked up and he will be bringing his Rick Rude hip swivel and more importantly PAIN to a Quarterback near you this winter.