The Mother Brain Files: The Top 12 Movies That Should be Remade
By Mother Brain

There is very little originality left in Hollywood films today. At a time when CGI and 3D technology have enhanced the way movies are made, film budgets have hit all time highs that make the studio executives get a little edgy. They figure rather than take a chance on something commercially unproven, let’s take the movies that worked the first time around and make them work again for newer audiences. I cringe everyday when I hear that old time favorites like The Karate Kid, Escape From New York, Total Recall, Death Wish, and dozens of others are getting such treatment. Even the Nightmare of Elm Street remake was totally unwatchable to me.

It wasn’t so bad in the old days when such remakes as Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Thing were made because the filmmakers back then were able to find new angles to make those film relevant (i.e. John Carpenter’s The Thing being a metaphor of AIDS in the early 80s). Then Gus Van Sant’s remake of Psycho set the trend for the whole concept of ‘raping’ the classics. Since then, I have asked myself why Hollywood doesn’t take the movies with good ideas that failed the first time and try them again with a better approach and better filmmakers involved. That’s why I decided to take on this list. So in no particular random order:

12. Dune (1984)

The classic Frank Herbert novel of the same name was extremely difficult for many big time directors to pull off throughout the 70s. Then came David Lynch who finally got it off the ground in 1984 while Hollywood was still riding on the Star Wars craze of the time. While I personally enjoyed the film, most audiences at the time (and even today) felt it was one big giant mess of an epic and also considered Lynch’s worst movie ever. Some even find the story hard to follow even more than most Lynch movies. The novel, however, was still popular enough to spawn video games and a made for cable remake that tried to be more faithful to the book but suffered from bad acting and poor special effects. As we speak, Paramount Pictures is struggling to get a new movie off the ground with Taken director Pierre Morel at the helm.

11. Dreamscape (1984)

This was a Dennis Quaid movie that I didn’t even know existed until I saw it on cable several months ago. The 1984 film about a government funded project looks into using psychics to enter people’s dreams was a cross between David Cronenberg’s Scanners and most recently Christopher Nolan’s Inception. As a concept for it’s time, Dreamscape had some fascinating visual effects for the dream sequences. I loved the idea of corrupt government officials trying to assassinate the president through a dream and it was also one of the rare times you got to see acting legends like Max von Sydow and Christopher Plummer in the same movie. Sadly, Dreamscape ended up being an underrated cult classic due to the lack of promotion it had when it was initially released. Someone needs to dust this off again.

10. Masters of the Universe (1987)

If you did not grow up watching He-Man, you better get some serious therapy. The whole franchise of the Masters of the Universe cartoon and toy line was one of the many hot trends for children of the 80s along with G.I. Joe and Transformers. I don’t think there’s anything much else to be said except two names: He-Man and Skeletor. You know the deal. Hollywood did not, however, when Cannon Films (notorious for it’s chain of Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks in the 80s) produced a live action adaptation in 1987 starring Dolph Lundgren as He-Man, Frank Langella as Skeletor, and an unknown Courtney Cox. The film at least started out promising with the battle sequences in Eternia. Then it drops into the toilet as soon as the characters travel into the modern world and become fishes out of water, encountering everything from fried chicken to even Mr. Strickland himself. Apparently, Cannon wanted to make the film more faithful to the cartoon but choose the modern world setting for budgetary reasons. There’s been a lot of discussion over the years of a doing a new movie called “Grayskull” with at one time John Woo attached as director and Nicholas Cage as Skeletor and an unknown actor as He-Man. We shall see if they get it right this time.

9. Nighthawks (1981)

Outside of The Expendables, Rocky, and Rambo, this is by far my favorite Sylvester Stallone movie outside of those franchises. In what may sound like an ironic premise taking place 20 years before 9/11, Stallone played a New York City cop assigned to an anti-terrorism task force to stop a lone murderous terrorist played by Rutger Hauer. Even though the early 80s feel of the film seems a bit dated, Nighthawks was a solid urban action thriller from beginning to end. It was well paced, had 5 star acting from Hauer who almost landed an Oscar nomination for his role, and had the dramatic New York intensity of the French Connection. At the time, the film was not a hit and it was released a year before Stallone defined himself as an action star in First Blood. The movie would most certainly be more controversial and more intense today.

8. Hit! (1973)

Now here’s a blaxploitation movie that few people have heard of outside of Shaft and Superfly. In fact, this film was another anti-heroin action thriller released after the success of the French Connection and has a few shades of  Steven Soderbergh’s Traffic. The film starred a pre-Empire Strikes Back Billy Dee Williams as a federal agent who wants revenge against the French drug cartel responsible for his sister’s death. He recruits a band of individuals whose lives had been torn apart by the drug trade and he trains them into assassins. Interestingly enough, one of the team members is played by Richard Pryor who demonstrates how gifted of an actor he was before Hollywood pigeonholed him into low grade comedies like The Toy and Moving. It’s very long and gets really detailed in how Billy Dee recruits the team, trains them, then has to outrun his agency who thinks he’s gone rogue. Personally, this is one film I wish I could do over with the post 9/11 atmosphere and the criticism of the war on drugs.

7. Brewster’s Millions (1985)

Speaking of Richard Pryor, this was a movie that was based on a novel that was remade 6 times over. The most recent version starred Pryor as a losing minor league ballplayer who finds out he has a rich white relative played by Hume Cronyn. In order to test if Brewster knows the value of money, he is given the task of disposing of $30m in 30 days. Brewster isn’t allowed to have any assets to show for the $30m or waste the money in any way. If successful, Brewster gets to inherit $300m. The biggest problem of all however, is that Brewster can’t tell anyone what he’s doing, so everyone thinks he’s crazy. It sounded like the perfect vehicle for Pryor. But a lousy script from the Trading Places writers, sluggish direction from Walter Hill, and Pryor’s lack of mojo following his almost tragic near suicide made the film less funny than it should have been. Now if it were Dave Chappelle or Chris Rock having to spend $30 billion in 30 days while the country still suffers economically, I see the potential for success.

6. Flash Gordon (1980)

The only thing more memorable than the film itself was the theme song by Queen. This was another major sci-fi epic to be revived after Superman in ’78 and Star Trek The Motion Picture in ’79. An unknown named Sam J. Jones played the title character with Max von Sydow as Ming the Merciless. With its campy 60’s Batman style, outlandish costumes and synthesized music, this incarnation of the popular comic strip was a total disaster. In recent years, there’s been talk of Stephen Sommers bringing him back. Doesn’t sound too promising after botching G.I. Joe.

5. Stick (1985)

Burt Reynolds’ career was on the decline in the mid-80s. So he hoped to capitalize on the success of his previous serious action thriller, Sharky’s Machine, and produce the adaptation of Elmore Leonard’s Miami-based crime novel which he would star and direct in. Leonard’s previous novels-to-film adaptations have been hit and miss (Jackie Brown, Get Shorty, Killshot, etc). Reynolds plays an ex-con running from drug runners who killed his friend and takes up a job as a driver for an eccentric movie producer played by George Segal. But despite the excellent cinematography, the all-star cast that also included Candice Bergen and Charles Durning, and the superb stunt work of the late stuntman Dar Robinson who executed a fall from the side of a building while firing a gun without a safety airbag below, Stick was an uneven mess that couldn’t decide if it was an action thriller or a dark comedy. Reynolds initially tried to stay faithful to the more character-driven novel and ended up falling under studio pressure to make it a by-the-numbers action picture. Since Quentin Tarantino did a decent job adapting Leonard’s Jackie Brown, I’d say give him a chance to remake Stick as an 80s period piece with that typical Tarantino style.

4. Truck Turner (1974)

The movie Shaft was most famous for its title theme by Isaac Hayes. But Hayes was also very interested in playing the role which the producers refused. So he sought to capitalize on the blaxploitation craze and do his own version of the bad mother… You know the rest. As Truck Turner, Hayes plays a tough L.A. bounty hunter who kills a pimp and his main mama wants revenge. I personally think this was one of the better made blaxploitation movies of the day and despite the 70s cheesiness of it, Hayes delivers an entertaining performance and you get to see director Jonathan Kaplan in action just a decade before he helped Jodie Foster win an Oscar for The Accused. It even has a terrifying performance by Yaphet Kotto and Star Trek’s Nichelle Nichols as the main antagonist (she’s never been so sexy and bitchy at the same time). A few years back, MGM wanted to remake this with Queen Latifah in the title role. But I can’t see a black female bounty hunter get taken seriously on film. Better for someone like Dwayne Johnson as the black version of Dog the Bounty Hunter. Sorry but I said it.

3. The Big Picture (1989)

A personal favorite of mine. This was a little known film that Kevin Bacon starred in and was directed by Christopher Guest. Bacon plays a film school grad who gets an offer to produce his first Hollywood film at a major studio which he hopes will be his character-driven drama. At first, he seems to be hot among studios and starlets. But as the film progresses, Bacon makes one too many compromises with the studio on his vision and his attitude changes because of the Hollywood lifestyle which turns off his girlfriend and film school buddies. I caught this movie on cable last year and although I haven’t worked in Hollywood, it’s a well-written story that I and any struggling filmmaker can personally relate to. On top of that, it has a great cast with the late J.T. Walsh as the studio executive, Michael McKean as Bacon’s DP buddy, Martin Short as Bacon’s agent, and Jennifer Jason Leigh as the film school friend who helps to save Bacon’s career. It holds up well to the point where a remake isn’t necessary. But since it was barely released at the time, maybe a new director can take a chance on it and update the story with more of today’s problems in the film industry.

2. Daredevil (2003)

Again, there’s not much to be said about Daredevil the Marvel Comic that hasn’t been said. But the movie was extremely problematic. Now I’ll admit I enjoyed it when it first came out, even going as far as saying how Colin Farrell stole the show as Bullseye. Looking back at it now, however, something never felt right about it. The cinematography was ok and Michael Clarke Duncan was a pretty decent Kingpin since there were no other big dudes in Hollywood who were white like the character. But if I had to list my gripes with the movie, there’s a miscast Ben Affleck in the title role (taking the part from his buddy Matt Damon who was the fan favorite), Jennifer Garner playing Electra when she has no Greek accent, Bullseye without his costume, and hack direction from Mark Steven Johnson who also botched Ghost Rider. Give the Devil his due, Hollywood.

1. Outland (1981)

Sean Connery’s previous sci-fi outings (Zardoz, Meteor) were major blunders in his career. He almost got it right in his underrated High Noon-esque thriller set on a mining outpost on Jupiter’s moon, Io. Connery plays a futuristic federal marshal investigating a series of miner deaths which are the result of a corporate drug used to increase productivity but causes psychosis instead. It was produced by the Ladd Company which released Blade Runner a year later and Peter Hyams of Capricorn One and 2010: The Year We Make Contact was at the helm. What’s great about the film is the use of western motifs in the space setting and how the production design along with the dark lighting is more in tone with the original Alien than the more light-hearted Star Wars movies. There’s even a great foot chase in the middle with Connery going after the local drug supplier through the mining facility. It’s some of the best camerawork I’ve ever seen on film. Unfortunately, Outland suffered from slow pacing and lack of story development past the 2nd act when Connery’s character finds out about his corporate boss being the head of the conspiracy. It truly deserves another chance to be done right and maybe even incorporate corporate corruption in today’s society and how even space exploration could fall victim into it. As the tag line for the film said: “Even in space, the ultimate enemy is man.”