The Mother Brain Files: Fix What’s Broken

The Mother Brain Files: Fix What’s Broken
By Mother Brain

Since I began writing for Cos’ Blog, I’ve been trashing the current WWE product while yearning for the old days to come back. Pushing into my 30s, however, I see that this is not a reality. But rather than complain once more, I have decided to write my own take on what WWE should need to fix its staleness by incorporating aspects of the past. Now most people would jump right away into saying how they need to return to the Attitude era. But even the days of Austin, Rock, and Mankind had their bad patches towards the end of the era. My list of five ideas is a bit more constructive.

Onward to my list:

Cut Back PPV’s to 4-5 Events a Year

Until 1993, there was only Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, Summerslam, and Survivor Series. Each PPV had match-ups that took months to build and the storylines were carefully told to make the matches more eventful. But as WCW increased their PPVs, so did WWE until they both had PPVs once a month every year. WCW is long dead. So why continue to have PPVs every month? Shareholders! As long as WWE remains a publicly traded company, Vince McMahon will continue to thrust such lackluster events like Over the Limit and No Way Out down our throats with ridiculous rental fees. But in general, having too many PPVs overexposes the product and they very rarely advance the storylines or have major title changes. Stick to the big 4 draws of the year and make them meaningful.

Bring Back the Pre-Taped Contract Signings
It has become a cliche to have a major main event signing on live TV which usually ends in a “pier 6 brawl”. It also feels cheap and tacky. What WWE needs to make their main events feel like a serious event is to go back to the days when they would have the two superstars in Titan Towers having a tense face-off in front of WWE officials and the media. While it was a bit too theatrical at the time, this type of gimmick is what made WWE rival boxing in the 80s. Just look at the infamous contract signing between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant for Wrestlemania III

Make the Divas Division Competitive Again

I’ve discussed this in greater detail previously. Since Johnny Ace took over as the actual Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, the Divas division suffered as the talented likes of Trish Stratus, Mickie James, and Lita were phased out in favor of swimsuit models like Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox. The prestige of the women superstars has regressed into bathroom breaks. As a result, you got Beth Phoenix jobbing to ex-Laker Girl Layla and Hart family member Natalya reduced to a bullshit farting gimmick. Yet, there is some hope on the horizon: Kharma is set to return with a possible feud with Beth, AJ Lee has gone super-over thanks to her crazy chick gimmick, and Kelly Kelly looks to be on her way out of WWE. If the new regime under Triple H has its way, maybe we’ll see the Divas Division finally rival the far superior Knockouts Division of TNA.

If a Superstar Wins the Crowd, Embrace It

Remember a time when a mid-card player named Steve Austin won the King of the Ring and created the moniker of Austin 3:16? Who knew he would become the greatest WWE superstar since Hulk Hogan? But these days, however, WWE likes to punish success when they have no plans for someone. Zack Ryder was barely on TV and yet he managed to win fans over with his YouTube show. That small fanbase grew massive over time, eventually leading to winning the US Title. Unfortunately, the run did not last and Ryder’s popularity died down after an embarrassing romance angle with Eve Torres. Now he’s back to being an undercard jobber despite the fact that kids are shelling out big cash for his headbands. Why punish success when someone makes you money? Who did Ryder piss off in the back? Perhaps when you don’t fit McMahon’s vision, you’re bound to go nowhere. Just ask John Morrison.

If You’re the Champion and Your Name is Not John Cena, You Carry the Company

This one irritates me the most. Nevermind the multiple titles in the company. It’s the WWE Championship that carries the most prestige. It used to be used to either reward the guy who would carry the company (i.e. Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Bret Hart, HBK, Austin, Rock, etc) or to use as a transitional title (i.e. Yokozuna, Sid, Alberto Del Rio, etc). The current WWE Champion is CM Punk, a self-made superstar who won the crowd over when he told it like it is with the current state of WWE last year. He would win the title twice in his hometown of Chicago and New York’s own Madison Square Garden where Hogan and Bret won their titles. Although he’s had fantastic matches with Chris Jericho, Daniel Bryan, and Dolph Ziggler, Punk gets treated more like the Intercontinental Champion while John Cena has headlined every PPV since the year started. The blame: Quarterly ratings? Is WWE serious? So what they’re trying to say is if you’re the champion but can’t deliver ratings or win over kids, you’re just a second-class citizen? Cena may claim that he fights for the boys in the back whenever part-timers show up. But as long as he never takes a break from the road, there will be very little chance for guys like Punk, Bryan, Ryder, Ziggler, and others to grow in the company or crossover into the mainstream. Make the belt worthy of the man holding it and rally your company around that man so you don’t have to rely on past draws.

So those are my 5 ideas. What’s yours?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.