flammable had sent this to me a long time ago and I didn’t get a chance to post it, so here are some jokes from the keeper of the flammable:

Morris the matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her.

“I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.”

The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman. ”

The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, Morris said, “He’s a business man. He buys goods in the market and he sells goods. By him, it’s not a big deal… a sample.”

She thought a minute. “He’s a business man? So tell him I don’t give samples. If he wants, I can give him 50 or 60 references.

Here is another one:

My daughter goes to extremes in caring for her new sports car.

One afternoon we went to get gas. When the attendant asked what kind, she said, “Unleaded — super. The best you have. And check the oil, please.”

When the man found the car needed a quart, he asked, “What kind do you use?”

“I just want the finest,” she said. “Whatever it costs. And look at the
radiator too. It might need water.” “What does it take,” the attendant inquired, “Perrier?”

Keep them coming.

–Socram