Where I am

[avatar user=”marcos” size=”75″ /]

Let’s be honest for a minute, I’ve really been MIA when it comes to blog postings for quite some time. I used to do this daily, with movie and/or wrestling rumors every day. But I’ve been really busy with life, work, whatever for quite some time. I relegated the blog to “Picture of the Day” posts in some variation or form for weeks at a time, just to keep the allure of a blog that had daily postings on it. But eventually that all stopped back in December. For no real reason other than time, I can blame things that were going on at work or I can say that with the addition of my son to the family I had my hands full. But I’m not going to actually pass blame on anyone else but the fact that the blog and anything posted on it just wasn’t as big of a priority as it once was.

miles and marcos

In April of this year I suddenly started having more time on my hands (you can interpret that in anyway that you’d like) and I still couldn’t get myself to blog or write appropriately. I actually barely posted anything. I just went back and counted 15 blog postings between April and July, most of which were ‘Miles on Monday’ which is essentially a cuter version of the “Picture of the Day” posts. I don’t want to completely open up about myself here, there are too many eyes on this, but work had fried my mind. I was really stressed about a lot of things that were going on: waking up in the middle of the night to check my email and not falling back to sleep for close to two hours, not able to focus for too long one something as I was forced to bounce between too many things, walking on eggshells to appease people…the list goes on.

The Blog, and writing in general, were far away from the forefront of my mind, not that either should be that important to me, I do have Miles, who is now a 1 year old, my wife, the fur babies and my family. But writing has always been an escape to me. Writing screenplays has always been a way to build worlds, create excitement and dream. Writing blogs were always a way to express myself, my opinion and in a therapeutic way open up about things (whatever they are, even if they are as trivial as who will win a wrestling match).

At the end of April/early May I entered a short screenplay writing contest through NYC Midnight, and I had a terrific time writing my screenplay. In the contest we were put into heats where a group of over a thousand screenwriters were given a genre/theme/character and had to come up with a 12 page short within 8 days. I thought that this would be easy, I pride myself at being flexible and not married to one genre of writing. And then I got my assignment: Fairy Tale/Social Media/Barber. I looked at it a few times and then went “HOLY SHIT!” Fairy Tale and Social Media? Two things that do not lend themselves to one another. I knew I had 8 days but for the better part of the first 3-4 days I sat on this concept, trying to imagine what I could come up with. I’ve never written anything that took place in a fairy tale world, though the majority of what I do like to write tend to be science fiction based and science fiction is fantasy based and both those genres are split from one another. Ultimately, I sat down and wrote out my short and did a few quick revisions. I have always done better as the deadline loomed closer, I think that sort of pressure just makes me focus more (that and the fact that I paid to be in this contest, I couldn’t just shrug it off and walk away).

I finished the screenplay a day before it was due and I was happy with what I had. I kept rereading and adding things that I felt would make the story much stronger and the creation of the world much more believable. I’m actually posting the short here for anyone to read if they would like (its below, in PDF form), let me know what you think. I would appreciate constructive criticism not just a “it sucks” but more along the line of “this sucks, and this is how you could fix it”.

Larkins Magic and Hair Service

I’ve called myself a screenwriter for the better part of 18 years (I’ve been writing screenplays since high school) and this was the first time I had someone other than a friend, family member or professor/teacher reading one of my screenplays and I was both excited and terrified. While I didn’t get through to the next round I did receive some amazing feedback and I have been reevaluating my writing ever since. Screenwriting has been a passion of mine (on and off) for close to two decades ever since I first discovered the ‘Terminator 2: Judgement Day’ screenplay at the local Barnes & Noble that I had my father purchase for me. I still have the book with me and that was where I honestly first learned how to write a screenplay. While I was bummed about not getting to the next round in the short screenplay contest through NYC Midnight, I was excited to have made it that far and to have been given an assignment that was completely out of my comfort zone. I would also highly recommend NYC Midnight to anyone looking for a good contest and would probably compete again next year if they have it again.

Next, I went through the process of doing another rewrite on a screenplay that I wrote in 2014 and I have been extremely proud of and then just as quickly as I got into writing again I kind of went back into hiding. For the better part of a month I felt like I was trying to find myself, doing stuff around the house or running errands, not really being attentive to anything online in terms of blog, movies, wrestling, etc. I, of course, was 100% into Miles, but everything else around me kind of fell away. It felt as if if I couldn’t physically hold it or do something about it it was virtually out of my grasp (literally) and I wasn’t going to do anything about it.

As the month of June progressed I kind of kept diving deeper into not doing anything in terms of writing but also trying to fix the fried/burnt mind that work had given me…perhaps mend is a better word to use. As the month led to July and we reached Miles’ first birthday I really feel like my mind was getting better. I could think, I could sleep, I wasn’t walking on eggshells or stuck in an endless loop of incidents that happened or fictional scenarios of what could have happened. I was coming back.

I have been spending some good quality time with Miles and he’s becoming more of a little human being, he’s walking and figuring more out in the little world that he’s in. I feel like that quality time was missing a few months ago thanks to work so its almost like things have settled down. I’m enjoying my time with Melissa more and hopefully that can be seen through postings on Facebook and Instagram.

I didn’t set out to write a blog posting about writing, I honestly didn’t, (truth be told I was going to write a posting about a bad experience with the app Waze that I had a few days ago but felt that I needed to explain where I was in the process). To be honest, I think by labeling where I am in terms of writing is a healthy way of saying that I am back. If I can write and be creative than I, Marcos, am back. To me, being able to write means that I can focus better on the things I care about. I don’t write if I’m not happy with what I’ve done during the day but recently I’ve been coming up with more ideas, being overall more creative and feeling more productive. Thus writing and creating more. I posted a video I edited with Cassie barking and being censored because I was more relaxed and happy.

Writing = equilibrium/homeostasis in life

So, needless to say, I feel like I am back to being more of myself right now. More positive. More creative. More productive. More me.

There is a short screenplay contest (due Monday actually) through Screencraft that if I can get shit together by Monday I’ll try and put a short that I wrote in 2009 in there. Also, BlueCat is having a free month long contest, entitled GoalPost, to write a script during the month of August (about 3 pages a day) that I am hoping to get involved in. Also, I’d like to edit a few more things while I have a free trial with Adobe Premiere (its only for a few more days) and maybe get something started with Adobe AfterEffects (which does special effects in video). And, like I said, I’m more productive in general. Happier about myself and what I am doing. If I am happier about myself personally it comes out usually as writing. Not the other way around.

Here’s to a productive month of August, with more quality time with Miles and Melissa (and the furbabies as well). I am hoping to look at everything from a more positive perspective, and hopefully that productivity lends itself to some writing. I hope this is the first of many more entries on the blog and let me know what you all think.

If I am writing, blogging overall being creative then I am happy! Hopefully that comes across on here.

3 thoughts on “Where I am

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