So who do you think kicks ass?  Arnold Schwarzenegger, how about Steven Seagal or what about Chuck Norris? If you said yes to any of those you are right, but what about Helen Mirren?  She may have played the Queen of England, come on think about it.  But seriously, what about playing a former CIA agent?  Now were getting somewhere, am I right?  Well if you picked the former CIA agent role then you know what movie I’m about to review, “RED.”

Red is about retired Black-Ops Agent Frank Moses played by Bruce Willis.  When his now average life is being threatened with his own death, he slowly reassembles his old team to figure out why the hell they need to be taken care of.  Luckily his old team consists of Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, and yes, you guessed it, Helen Mirren.  Come on would you fuck with these great actors?  I know I wouldn’t, but too bad CIA Agent William Cooper, played by Karl Urban, is being ordered to stop Moses at all costs.  Well, good luck to him.  Along the journey, the characters get to deal with some other characters one way or another including Desperate Housewife Mary-Louise Parker who plays Bruce Willis’s love interest, the original Dr. Hannibal Lector Brian Cox, and Richard Dreyfuss.  Yeah that’s right Richard Dreyfuss is in it too.  Now, I don’t know about you, but that to me is a huge array of great actors.

While all the actors are fantastic in their own right, John Malkovich totally stole the show.  His humorous timing and craziness got me laughing the whole time.  If you think he was crazy in 1997’s “Con Air,” this is nothing.  He really makes killing fun to watch.  If you hate action movies or comic book based movies (yes this story is from a graphic novel) you have to go watch it just for Malkovich’s portrayal of former agent Marvin Boggs.  While watching the film you’ll think Boggs is a crazy, paranoid old timer who just can’t handle retirement, but he’s just as sharp as the rest of the bunch maybe even sharper and smarter than the rest.  But, you be the judge of that.

The story is based on a DC Comics’ graphic novel, which this reviewer hasn’t read yet, but can’t wait to.  While leaving this movie, I couldn’t really decide is it an action movie with comedy elements, or a comedy with action elements.  I can tell you all the characters are really fun to watch and director Robert Schwentke did a great job with the material.  I can’t remember the last time I really left a theater from an action film going “my god that was funny.”  I give the movie an 8.5.  And now if you excuse me I’m going out for some pancakes.